# The Reply & DM Playbook (that doesn't get you banned) Finding the posts is half the job. This file is the other half: what to say, where, and how often, without getting your account removed or your domain flagged. Last verified: October 2026. Community rules change. The patterns below are stable; the exact rules of each subreddit, forum or platform are whatever its pinned post says today. Read it before you post. --- ## Part 1: Why founders get banned (and the 7 rules that prevent it) Reddit's sitewide rules don't ban self-promotion. They ban **spam and content manipulation** and ask you to post in communities you actually care about. Each subreddit's moderators decide the details. Hacker News and Product Hunt both forbid asking people to upvote. Almost every ban comes from one of these five behaviors: 1. A new account whose first posts are links to its own product. 2. The same reply pasted into ten threads. 3. A reply that doesn't answer the question, just says "check out [link]". 4. Hiding the affiliation ("I found this great tool..."). 5. Asking friends to upvote, or using a second account. **The 7 rules** 1. **Answer first, as if you had no product.** The reply must be useful even if nobody clicks anything. 2. **Disclose every time.** "Disclosure: I built this." One line, no apology. 3. **No link unless it's allowed and asked for.** "Happy to share the link if useful" works better than the link itself in most communities. 4. **Recommend someone else when they fit.** Nothing builds trust faster. 5. **Never copy-paste.** Each reply quotes or mirrors one detail from the post. 6. **Keep the ratio honest.** The widely cited guideline is roughly 9 helpful contributions for every 1 that mentions your own thing. Treat it as a minimum, not a target. 7. **One account, your real one.** No sockpuppets, no vote requests, no "comment on my post" group chats. --- ## Part 2: Subreddit and forum rule patterns You will meet the same 8 rule types again and again. Learn to spot them in 30 seconds. | Pattern | What the rules say | What you do | |---|---|---| | **Zero promotion** | "No self-promotion", "No advertising", "No links to your own products" | Reply with pure value. No mention of your product, not even disclosed. Your profile (bio + pinned post) does the selling. | | **Promo thread only** | "Share your startup in the weekly/monthly thread" (r/startups works this way) | Post in that thread only. Elsewhere: pure value. | | **Ratio rule** | "9:1", "10% rule", "must be an active member" | Check your own history. Under 10 helpful comments in that sub? Don't mention the product. | | **Account gates** | Minimum karma or account age; posts from new accounts auto-removed | Use your aged account. If you don't have one, spend 2 weeks commenting before you post. | | **No links** | "No URLs", "links in profile only" | Name the product in plain text only if promo is allowed; otherwise say "link in my profile". | | **Flair required** | "Use the Promotion / Feedback / Showcase flair" | Use it exactly. Wrong flair is the most common auto-removal. | | **Showcase day** | "Self-promotion only on [day]" | Save launch posts for that day. Keep a calendar. | | **Feedback-only framing** | "Posts must ask for feedback, not sell" (common in launch and roast communities) | Lead with a real question and what you want critiqued. No pricing pitch. | **Communities built for sharing projects** (still read the rules): r/SideProject, r/alphaandbetausers, r/roastmystartup, r/IMadeThis, r/microsaas. r/SaaS tolerates founder stories that mention your product; pure ads get removed. r/vibecoding's rules discourage blatant promotion of commercial services. **Forums (Shopify, Webflow, WordPress.org, Discourse communities):** many have a "no vendor solicitation" rule or a vendor flair. Answer the question; put your company in your profile signature only if the forum allows signatures. --- ## Part 3: Value-first reply frameworks ### Frame 1: The 4A reply (default) 1. **Acknowledge** one specific detail. 2. **Answer** fully: steps, free option, trade-off. 3. **Aside** (disclosed, only if allowed): "Disclosure: I'm building [X] for this, happy to share." 4. **Ask** one short question. ### Frame 2: The honest comparison (for "X vs Y?" and "best tool for") "I've used [A] and [B]. [A] is better if [condition]. [B] is better if [condition]. If you need [narrow thing], I built [mine] for that specific case (disclosure). If not, go with [A]." ### Frame 3: The playbook answer (for "how do you handle") Numbered steps they can do today with no tool. End with: "I automated step [N] for myself; ask if you want the setup." No product name unless allowed. ### Frame 4: The question back (for vague posts) "Depends on [factor]. Are you [option 1] or [option 2]? If [1], do this... If [2], do that..." You get a reply, which earns the right to a DM. ### Frame 5: The "I had this exact problem" story (for venting posts) Two lines of your story, the one thing that fixed it, and an offer: "Happy to share the template." Works for building in public. --- ## Part 4: 10 example replies Products are examples. Swap your own details in. Each reply is 40 to 140 words. **1. Switching, Reddit (invoicing tool for freelancers)** > Post: "FreshBooks just raised prices again. Any cheaper alternative for a solo designer? I only need invoices and reminders." > > If invoices and reminders are all you need, you're paying for a lot of accounting you don't use. Two to look at: Zoho Invoice (free plan with limits) and Wave (free plan for invoicing; automatic payment reminders are on its paid plan). Check that whichever you pick lets you schedule reminders before the due date, not only after. That alone fixes most late payments. Disclosure: I'm building a small tool that only does the reminder sequence and plugs into what you already use. Happy to share if useful, but try the free ones first. Roughly how many invoices a month do you send? **2. Competitor complaint, X (scheduling tool)** > Post: "@[competitor] third time this month my booking page double-booked me. I'm done." > > Double-booking usually comes from a calendar that isn't connected for conflict checks (common with a second Google account or a shared calendar). Worth checking that every calendar you use is set to "check for conflicts" in the settings before you switch. If you do switch, export your event types first. I'm building a lighter booking tool and this exact bug is why. Glad to help you move if you go that way. **3. Willingness to pay, Reddit (analytics for Shopify stores)** > Post: "I'd honestly pay for something that just tells me which products are losing money after ads and shipping." > > You can get 80% of this in a spreadsheet: export orders, add columns for COGS, shipping, payment fees and ad spend per SKU (split ad spend by revenue share if your ads aren't per product), then sort by contribution margin. Do it monthly. The painful part is keeping ad spend per SKU up to date. Disclosure: that's exactly what I'm building; it's in free beta and I'd love to have you test it if you want. What ad platforms are you on? **4. Looking for a tool, LinkedIn (client-onboarding tool for agencies)** > Post: "Looking for a tool to collect client logins, brand assets and briefs before kickoff. Email threads are killing us." > > We had the same problem. What fixed it first was a single intake form (Typeform/Tally) with a file upload, plus a password manager share for logins, never email. That gets you 70% of the way for almost no cost. Where it breaks is chasing the clients who don't finish. I built [PRODUCT] for that piece (disclosure). Happy to show you how both setups look. How many clients do you onboard a month? **5. "Is there an app", Reddit (habit tracker for ADHD)** > Post: "Is there an app that reminds me to do something only when I'm actually at my desk? Time-based reminders don't work for me." > > What you want is a location- or context-based reminder. Free first: iOS Reminders supports location-based reminders, and you can use Shortcuts automations (iPhone) or an automation app (Android) to fire a reminder when you join your work Wi-Fi. Disclosure: I'm making an app around context triggers for ADHD brains, but try the built-in options first; they might be enough. What phone are you on? **6. Recommendation request, Hacker News (log monitoring)** > Post: "Ask HN: What do you use for logs on a tiny side project? Datadog is overkill." > > For one or two small servers: journald plus a cron job that greps for errors and emails you gets surprisingly far. Next step up is a self-hosted stack or any hosted tier with a free plan. Pick based on whether you want to own the box. I'm the author of [PRODUCT], a single binary that tails logs and alerts on new error signatures. It's for exactly this size of project, but the cron approach is free and fine until you have users. **7. Workflow pain, Reddit (podcast editing service, freelancer)** > Post: "How do you all handle editing? I spend 6 hours per episode and I'm about to quit the show." > > Six hours is a lot, and it's usually spent on two things: removing filler words and leveling audio. Three ways to cut it: record each person on their own track (fixes most problems before editing), use your editor's automatic leveling, and cut only obvious mistakes, not every "um". Listeners care less than you think. If you ever want it off your plate entirely, I edit shows for a living (disclosure), but try those three first. What do you record with? **8. Venting, Indie Hackers (founder story)** > Post: "Almost gave up on my side project. 4 months, 3 users, and two of them are my friends." > > Been there. What changed it for me wasn't a new feature, it was going looking for people who were already describing my problem in public. I searched Reddit and HN for phrases like "is there an app" and "alternative to [competitor]" in my niche and answered every thread I could genuinely help with. 20 helpful replies got me 9 conversations and 3 real users in two weeks. Slow, but real. What does your product do? Happy to suggest a few searches. **9. Recommendation, LinkedIn (freelancer for Webflow)** > Post: "Any recommendations for a Webflow developer who can migrate us from WordPress? ~40 pages, blog included." > > For a 40-page migration with a blog, ask whoever you hire about three things: how they move the blog (CSV import into a CMS collection vs manual), how they handle 301 redirects for every old URL, and who owns the Webflow site after handoff. Those are where migrations go wrong. I do this kind of migration (disclosure: freelance), happy to send a scope estimate, and glad to point you to others if timing doesn't work. **10. "If AI can rebuild your SaaS, what's your moat?", Reddit (answer that builds authority)** > Post: "If AI can rebuild your SaaS in a weekend, what's your moat?" > > The code was never the moat; it's just faster to see that now. What's hard to copy in a weekend: knowing exactly who has the problem, where they talk about it, and having answered them first. Distribution, trust and the data you collect from real users. A practical version: keep a list of every public post where someone asked for what you do, and be the helpful reply in each one. Nobody can clone that list from your landing page. --- ## Part 5: 5 DM scripts Rules: no link in the first message, reference their post, give something before you ask. Keep it short enough to read on a phone. **DM 1: Reddit, after they replied to your comment** > Hey [name], thanks for answering in the [r/SUB] thread. One more thing that might help with [problem]: [extra tip, one line]. I'm the one building [PRODUCT] (mentioned it there). Want me to send the link, or would a 2-minute screen recording of it on your use case be more useful? **DM 2: X, to someone who asked for recommendations** > Saw your post about [problem]. Quick tip whatever you choose: [tip]. I built [PRODUCT] for exactly this (for [audience]). Not sure it fits you, so: what are you using now? If it's close, I'll send a link. **DM 3: LinkedIn connection note (keep under 200 characters; free accounts get a short note and a small monthly allowance of personalized notes)** > Hi [name], read your post on [problem]. I work on the same problem for [audience]. Would be glad to connect and share what's worked for others. **DM 4: LinkedIn, after they accept** > Thanks for connecting, [name]. On your post about [problem]: the thing I see work most for [audience] is [specific tactic]. I built [PRODUCT] to automate that part. Open to a 10-minute look? If not, no worries, happy to just swap notes. **DM 5: Freelancer/agency, after a "looking to hire" post** > Hi [name], saw you're looking for someone to [task]. I've done [number/type] of these, most recently [one-line proof]. Two questions so I don't waste your time: what's the deadline, and is [key scope question]? If it fits, I'll send a fixed quote today. --- ## Part 6: 5 cold email scripts Use these for people you found in public with a clear, public, work-related need (a LinkedIn post, a company blog, a public "we're looking for"). Small volume, written by hand, sent from your real name. **Rules that keep you legal and in the inbox (information, not legal advice; check your local rules):** - US CAN-SPAM (FTC): no misleading "From" or subject lines, include a valid physical postal address, include a clear way to opt out, honor opt-outs within 10 business days. - EU/UK and several other countries have stricter consent rules for electronic marketing (GDPR and ePrivacy rules). B2B cold email may be restricted or require a legitimate-interest assessment. Check before you send there. - Gmail and Yahoo require bulk senders (around 5,000+ messages a day to their users) to authenticate with SPF, DKIM and DMARC, offer one-click unsubscribe, and keep spam complaints under 0.3%. You won't be a bulk sender, but set up SPF/DKIM/DMARC anyway and send slowly (start under 20 a day). **Email 1: Problem-first (they posted about the pain)** > Subject: your post on [problem] > > Hi [name], > > Read your post about [specific detail] on [platform]. That's the same thing I kept hearing from [audience], so I built a small tool for it. > > What it does: [one sentence outcome]. What it doesn't: [honest limit]. > > Would it be useful if I set it up on [their specific case] and sent you a 2-minute video of the result? No call needed. > > [Your name] > [Product] | [Physical address] | Reply "no thanks" and I won't email again. **Email 2: Switching (they complained about a competitor)** > Subject: [competitor] question > > Hi [name], > > Saw your note that [competitor] [specific complaint]. Fair complaint; it's built for bigger teams. > > I make [product], which only does [narrow job] for [audience]. It's [price]. If you want, I'll import your [data] so trying it costs you 10 minutes. > > Worth a look? > > [Name] | [Address] | Not relevant? Reply "stop". **Email 3: Trigger event (they just launched, hired, raised, or posted a job)** > Subject: congrats on [trigger] > > Hi [name], > > Congrats on [trigger]. Usually when [audience] [trigger], [problem] shows up within a month (it did for [example or "most teams I talk to"]). > > I have a one-page checklist for handling it. Want it? It's free, no strings. If it's useful, I'll mention the tool I built afterwards. > > [Name] | [Address] | Reply "no" to opt out. **Email 4: Freelancer/agency offer (they posted a need)** > Subject: [task] for [company] > > Hi [name], > > You mentioned you need [task]. I've done this for [2-3 similar clients or "similar projects"], for example [one-line result]. > > Fixed price: [range] for [scope], done in [timeframe]. I can send a 3-point plan for your case before you decide anything. > > Want the plan? > > [Name] | [Portfolio link] | [Address] | Reply "stop" to opt out. **Email 5: Founder-to-founder feedback ask (highest reply rate, lowest pressure)** > Subject: 2 questions about [problem] > > Hi [name], > > I'm building [product] for [audience] and you're clearly someone who's dealt with [problem] (your post on [platform]). > > Two questions, reply in one line each if you have time: > 1. How are you handling [problem] today? > 2. What's the most annoying part of that? > > Not selling anything in this email. Thanks either way. > > [Name] | [Address] | Reply "stop" and I won't follow up. --- ## Part 7: Follow-ups **Public replies** - Check back after 24 hours. Answer every reply to your comment within a day. - If the original poster replied "interested" or asked for the link: send it (in the thread if links are allowed, in a DM if not). - Never bump your own comment or reply to yourself. **DMs** - One follow-up maximum, 3 to 5 days later, and only if it adds something: > Hey [name], one more idea on [problem]: [new tip]. No need to reply if you sorted it. - No reply after that = done. Mark the lead "Lost" in the tracker. **Cold email (max 2 follow-ups)** - Follow-up 1 (+3 business days, same thread): > Hi [name], bumping this in case it got buried. Short version: [one-sentence outcome]. Worth a 2-minute video? - Follow-up 2 (+7 business days, same thread, the "close the loop"): > Hi [name], I'll stop here so I don't clutter your inbox. If [problem] becomes a priority later, reply anytime and I'll set it up for you. Thanks. - Any "no", "stop" or unsubscribe = remove them immediately and never contact again. --- ## Part 8: When they answer: the 5 most common objections | They say | You say | |---|---| | "How is this different from [competitor]?" | "[Competitor] is better for [their strength]. Mine only does [narrow job] for [audience], so it's [faster/cheaper/simpler] for that. If you need [their strength], stay with them." | | "Too expensive." | "Fair. What are you paying in time or money for this now? If it's less than [price], it's not worth it for you yet." | | "Not now." | "Totally fine. Want me to check back in [month], or should I drop it?" | | "Is it safe?" (data, logins) | Plain facts: what you store, where, who can see it, how to delete it. No vague "bank-level security". | | "Send me more info." | Don't send a deck. Send a 2-minute video of the product doing their exact case. | --- ## Part 9: Account hygiene checklist (5 minutes, once) - [ ] One real account per platform, with your face or logo and a clear bio: "Building [PRODUCT] for [AUDIENCE]". - [ ] A pinned post or profile link that explains what you build. This is where interested people go after a helpful reply. - [ ] Reddit: account older than a few weeks with some comment history in your target subs before you mention anything you made. - [ ] Email: domain with SPF, DKIM and DMARC set up; a real signature with your address; an opt-out line. - [ ] A notes file of each community's rules (promo thread day, flair names, link policy). Update when you get a mod message. - [ ] A rule for yourself: if a moderator removes a post, read why, apologize if needed, and never repost the same thing.